I SEE YOU

(When you fall for your imagination....and feel someone who in reality doesn't exist....wrote it on 31st March, 2010)

I see you sitting by the window,
I see you by yourself all alone.
With dreams weaving in your eyes,
I see a soul, so lone and lonesome.

You reach for the gloomy moonlight,
That comes through your window.
I hear the notes of forgotten love,
That you sing along, all day long.

I feel your desire of longing memories,
In the midst of which you loose control.
I see your eyes wet of little tears,
A cute smile and a loner deep inside.

I see you feel the rain of lust,
I see your thirst of passionate love.
The desire of being loved once again,
Fills your soul with realms of hope.

Now I want to see you all day long.
I wish to see world through your eyes.
Because now without your love my life,
Ain't nothing but burnt ashes of time.

TOXICITY

(Some little thoughts came up....when deep inside....something amiss...someone is missed....wrote it on 30th March, 2010)

Slithering deep inside where I lie,
Slowly consuming what's been my life.
Blinded forever by the fear of hate,
I fight no more the writings of my fate.

I leave far behind this toxic place,
A world of ever endless twisting maze.
Are you watching ? Can you really see ?
The poison flows slowly all within of me.

It's no rain but the blood filled tears,
That stained my concrete face for years.
Concealed with memories of shredding strife,
I've lived year to year, life after life.

Now I await for my death angel's kiss.
A little desiring love for one final bliss.
Empty soul within, there's nothing left of me.
Need to see the end to finally set me free.

I lay with poison in my vein, they run.
The door is closed now, I don't see the sun.
Upon that old grave that swallows fast,
Now it's peace at last. Oh! It's peace at last !!

NOT APART

(I've been missing my "KAPAA" group from my school days a lot lately....wrote it on 9th March, 2010)

Sometimes in my life I often wonder
Why do I live in my lost memories more ?
Why do I always walk on the steps
That leads to the front of my past's door ?

I tried so hard to live in the present
But have lost myself in the world of hate.
A little smile yet a loner deep inside
Admitting myself to the writings of my fate.

But remembering the days of the past
When life was all of sunshine and rain.
I feel like I am newly born yet again
A little hope in the world of my pain.

Going back again to the realms of past
When to live a life was not only a name.
Tears of little joy roll down my cheek
Perhaps all of life was not playing a game.

Though still today I live in my memories
Where past still relives deep in my heart.
They say that past never let you move forward
But my past and present they are not apart.

ONCE BURNED, TWICE SHY

(This is for those people...who at some point of their life...considered me important to them....this is my longest and the only poem where I had my emotional outbursts while writing it....hope not to write these kinds ever again....wrote it on 4th March, 2010)

Remember, remember, there was a time
When he used to feel like a lonely boy.
No one to call him up or to take care
Living all alone with deprieved of joy.

It was then he saw me all by himself
He never felt alone again in his life.
For he called me his best friend ever
Someone to save him from all his strife.

Then in the midst came she in his life
And he slowly forgot all that was me.
He made me cry, start telling me lies
For I was someone he never wished to see.

Remember, remember, there was a time
When she could never trust anyone known.
Her thoughts were mocked and made fun of
Living among people yet she was alone.

It was then she found me from her lot
And again she regained the trust she lost.
For she called me her best friend ever
Ready to give anything this friendship cost.

But then came that fateful night of truth
When she was asked by her lot to choose.
If friendship was more or marks were more
Abandoned me for marks were precious to loose.

Remember, remember, there was a time
When she felt betrayed by her only love.
Her mind could never ever stay focused
With voices wispered of hate from above.

It was then she learnt about my existance
And she found someone to share her pain.
For she called me her best friend ever
Something in her life that's worth the gain.

And then came the cloud of doubts in her mind
She then wanted to get rid of what was me.
Running away and hiding in the darkness
Whenever there were glimpses of me to see.

Remember, remember, now gone are those days
When friendship in my life was only a bliss.
I was remembered over and over again by them
My name was called if something was amiss.

Today it's me who stands all alone by myself
It's me who lost all the trust I had long.
It's only me who is betrayed of love and life
But yet I pretend that nothing is wrong.

For if I try to reach out my hands forward
They would never bother for an ally reply.
For I'm not needed anymore in their life
That's why I feel now, "Once burned, twice shy !!"

TO YOU

(I guess my shortest poem till date....wrote it on 4th March, 2010)

Deep inside of me something amiss
In midst of my soul someone is missed.
The whole world of sadness engulfs
Out of the blue there's a sudden vacuum.

The race towards you is over now
A whole new era comes to an end.
But in my world time stands still
Inside of me your memories linger.

Some touches, some moments I recall
Some talk, some pretty smile stays on.
I sacrifice now and give it all up
But my spirit, my love, still stands tall.

To you, who made all the difference
To you, Who made me live once again.
To you, who gave me something to cheer
To you, for my life I bow to thee.

WITH OR WITHOUT YOU

(Just some random thoughts....which doesn't mean much....wrote it on 3rd March, 2010)

Once touched by all that love is
I took one step closer to you.
Now saddened by all that love is
I try to run far away from you.

Once surprised by what love is
Tried to remain alert in stillness.
Now I'm hurt by what love is
I yearn for a little of tenderness.

With being defeated by what love is
At the truthful moment of your sight.
Being forsaken by all that love is
Today I no longer wish for my right.

I see the stone set in your eyes
Sleight of hand and twist of fate.
I see the thorn twist in your side
On a bed of nails you made me wait.

Through the storm I reach the shore
With nothing to win yet I wait for you.
My hands are tied and my body is bruised
Yet ‎I live my life, with or without you.