EMPTY SPACES

(When you realize how much important a person has become in your life....that you just can't live without that someone special....and every moment without that person seems so empty.....wrote it on new years day of 2013)

Once upon a time, we used to be together,
Made pledges of being one for upcoming days.
Once upon a time, we used to be together,
Where not a day passed, when I didn't see your face.

And now as I sit here, and slowly close my eyes,
I think of the empty spaces, that has grown up so  much.
My silent screams, my dry tears, asking me always,
If I ever again have the chance to feel your touch.

Every moment, every clock tick, that passes me by,
I love you still, like I have loved you all along.
With every leaking drops, every pelting sound of rain,
I miss you too often, too much, being far away so long.

Just one chance, just one breath, if there is any left,
If it's time that you ask for, I promise forever I'd wait.
I'd give it all, give it for us, give anything but won't give up,
Maybe it's been too long, but never say, it's too late.

I keep dreaming, you'll be with me and will never go,
I hold your hands tight and together we write our fate.
And then I wake in pain, when I don't see you anymore,
My world of endless twisting maze, no love and only hate.

Take me now to a time, when we used to be together,
For I don't wish to carry on life, without you being it's part.
Take me to a time, when we used to be together,
Because this heart loves you forever, until death do us apart.

THE ANGEL OF MY DREAMS

(A little present.....only 4 u....written on 25th September, 2012)

In the darkness of the never ending night.
Amidst the crawling shadow, where I hide.
I see the angel of the fall, out of the sky.
Holding my hands tight, closing by my side.

Driven by the lost, consumed by the fear.
Ruthless creepers, with my heart they play.
"Fear not now", says the angel of the night.
"None would hurt, as long as I'm here to stay."

Gone are the fears, the darkness haunts no more.
You saved me once again, O sweet angel of mine.
Together now are we, walk on the road of night.
Till in the distant horizon, the sun rises and shine.

"But what if, they come again tomorrow night ?"
Asked an anxious me, looking in her eyes.
"Will you be there for me again, like today ?"
"When the darkness haunts and the devil cries ?"

Smiled the angel, beaming through her face.
"I am there always, living amidst your heart."
"Reach for me and I'd be there right beside you,"
"And will be there forever, till death do us part."

Slowly opening my eyes, I see my dream fade.
It's the brand new day, as the warm sun greets.
The angel of my dream, nowhere I can see.
Just the sound of her steps, as my little heart beats.

THE GIRL I SEE EVERYDAY

(Writing once again after more than a year....for a new start....written on 21st February, 2012 )

You are the sound of the first monsoon rain.
The pelting sound on my glass window pane.
Carrying within a novel hope of sprinkled bliss.
Forever, the soul within craves to heed you again.

You are the wild unnamed flower in the bush.
Blooming in the midst of a dark swarming forest.
Like a beauty among the beasts, an oasis in a desert.
A sweet memory I bear, within every nightmare I see.

You are the beam of the stars and the moon.
Reigning all over the sky on a clear summer night.
Illuminating, when the light betrays the world around .
Swallowing darkness away, you make me fear no more.

You are the rattling of the new spring leaves.
Cheering and laughing with the mild winds, you play.
Another new beginning after a long, cold and dry winter.
A reason to start all over new, a reason that is you.

You are the dew on the grass of a cold early morning.
A precious diamond, a rare gemstone of our nature.
Like a gift to the world, for the start of a brand new day.
A present to be locked away, within the prison of my soul.

NEVER WILL I

(One of those few poems I wrote...where I focused on...what I am feeling...instead of what I'm writing...wrote it on 9th December, 2010)

Never will I say goodnight to you again.
When I want you to stay another few mintutes.
Never will I say, thinking is a waste of time.
When I never can keep you out of my brain.

Never will I say, it's ok, I didn't mind.
When I feel, of all the people why did you hurt ?
Never will I say, I'm really fit and fine.
When moaning in pain still, I think, glad you asked.

Never will I say, I had lots of fun today.
When I know deep inside, I missed you every second.
Never will I say, sorry I didn't see you at all.
When I scream within, why you noticed me so late ?

Never will I say, you don't look so good.
When I can't ever take my eyes off your face.
Never will I say, I don't care if you don't talk.
When I plead to you inside, please just don't ignore.

Never will I say, I am happy all alone.
When I want you to be by my side always forever.
Never will I say, nothing good ever happened to me.
When silently I say, except for the time we met.

Never will I say, I can never fall in love.
When I realize within, I am lying to you once again.
And never will I write a poem, saying it's imagination.
When It's your name, that's written all over again.

THE RAIN IN MY EYES

(A lonely soul's thought...on a cold rainy day...walking all alone in the rain...so that nobody knows that he's crying...wrote it on 8th December, 2010)

There's a rain deep inside my eyes,
Filmsy strip like a lace paper window pane.
Breaking apart the onerous might, off they fall,
From the burdened clouds of mournful grey.

The world outside pouring heavily down,
The leaking shutters, the pelting sound.
Embracing mud over the little sodden hill,
Standing tall, the weeping willow cries still.

Within the dark, in a prison of a room,
The mind roaming an unfamiliar territory.
One missed call, an unfinished song,
Rattling pages, syncing the wind blown rain.

On the tinned rooftop, on the concrete road,
Soaking into sands, upon the windscreen.
The first rain of winter falls wet and cold,
From the sullen clouds over the black forest fringe.

Opening door, with my cold feet upon wet floor,
I slowly walk outside to the distant shore.
The driving drops advance their gears up,
To camouflage the sneaking drops within my soul.

Wringing skin, dripping wet with icy chill,
The rain in my eyes and I, no more we fight.
Finally standing upon equal bearing now are we,
This cold rain, myself, in complete harmony !!

BROKEN PROMISES

(Sometimes when we suffer...we look for a certain someone to be there for us....and when that someone is not there....the suffering amplifies thousandfold....wrote it on 26th September, 2010)

In the blinding darkness of every night,
I die in my sleep for loving memories of you.
Yet I am reborn from ashes in my dreams,
To be there once again living in for you.

In my every silent sighs and scream,
I seek for your face, one little touch.
In every passing tick of the clock,
I need you a little, too often, maybe too much.

I discard all voices, the sound of strings,
To hear my own heart beats, craving for you.
I fall to the floor, the day stands still,
I long for you still, moments even if it's few.

I remember all the promises of your voice,
The pledges that were made in your face.
Of being there for each other ever always,
Inspite of what future beholds in upcoming days.

But now every moment, that scuttles past me,
Alone I fight the writings of my forsaken fate.
I look around, but you aren't there for me.
Broken promises of the past, is all that I get.

In my oblivion, in the wake of my mistake.
On a lonesome road, on a forgotten track.
I need you, but even though you're close to me,
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back.

THE DOOR

(Sometimes we wait forever for someone...and we never realize that the person we are waiting for...waits just outside the door...and all we need is to unveil it....wrote it on 20th July, 2010)

I wait in the world of qualm,
In the midst of isle of lore.
Where the veil came crumbling down,
Enhancing to join the dawn.

Then I slowly close my eyes,
And reminisce of those blissful days.
Now I move over you, my oblivion.
Until I breathe, I call you my home.

And this is where it will begin,
The germination of a novel life.
Unveiling the aged crypting door,
Little hopes and petite aspirations.

For years I've walked the road to you,
Escalating the sense of emulous youth.
I followed the path of the wise,
Yet you remained so distant apart.

And now here it is all sown,
Inspiration, unclosing an unseen door.
And now here it would be revealed,
My enigma, unveiling an enthralled door.

OBITUARY

(Some fragile thoughts that came up in my mind....wrote it on 18th May, 2010)

In the closet of night, up and close
Greeting death, I write my own obituary.
I looked back, though nothing beckoned
Not a crying face, no mourning soul.

I can see you standing rather so near
But you no more trigger fear deep within.
For I can no more fight my haunting dreams
I wish to be loose and free forever more.

Driven away by hate, consumed by fear
Unknowingly I was caught in your shadow.
I wondered if there's anything I could say
But then I was lost in nothingness inside me.

Scorned by all, my fellow mates and allies
I slowly shed the byes to emply spaces.
Gazed hard upon the stony face of my fate
A life is lost, just when it started to begin.

Death, I see you getting close every jiffy
Now I'm just too frail to turn and run.
No more I keep you bearing far and wide
Greeting you still I write my own obituary !!

I'LL CATCH YOU, IF YOU FALL

(Yesterday someone asked "Who ?"...when I was sharing the poem title somewhere...I didn't have an answer then...and now after waking up in the middle of the night...for writing this poem down...I'd say, "Guess it's you, for giving me the idea !!"....anyways in reality this is for a fragment of my imagination....wrote it on 4th April, 2010)

So this is life in the end of the day
Quiet nights, gloomy stars up away.
And I'm here from monday to sunday
Cause you're fragile and I'm awry.

So you fall when the nights grow up
Deep in your sleep and won't wake up.
But I'm here sitting right beside you
And I'll wait even if you never knew.

Don't you worry I'll be here for you
Holding to the world that is all new.
Even if you never see and never call
Still I'll always catch you, if you ever fall.

And you drift when days grow cold again
Away from me and won't look back then.
Off to a land where time stands still
Yet I'm here for you and forever I will.

You dream the same redemption every night
A distant place far away from all sight.
And I'm still here with no windows barred
I'm here even if I'm broken and scarred.

And don't you worry I'll be here for you
If someday distance grow to quite a few.
Even if you forget me and never recall
Still I'll always catch you, if you ever fall.

I SEE YOU

(When you fall for your imagination....and feel someone who in reality doesn't exist....wrote it on 31st March, 2010)

I see you sitting by the window,
I see you by yourself all alone.
With dreams weaving in your eyes,
I see a soul, so lone and lonesome.

You reach for the gloomy moonlight,
That comes through your window.
I hear the notes of forgotten love,
That you sing along, all day long.

I feel your desire of longing memories,
In the midst of which you loose control.
I see your eyes wet of little tears,
A cute smile and a loner deep inside.

I see you feel the rain of lust,
I see your thirst of passionate love.
The desire of being loved once again,
Fills your soul with realms of hope.

Now I want to see you all day long.
I wish to see world through your eyes.
Because now without your love my life,
Ain't nothing but burnt ashes of time.

TOXICITY

(Some little thoughts came up....when deep inside....something amiss...someone is missed....wrote it on 30th March, 2010)

Slithering deep inside where I lie,
Slowly consuming what's been my life.
Blinded forever by the fear of hate,
I fight no more the writings of my fate.

I leave far behind this toxic place,
A world of ever endless twisting maze.
Are you watching ? Can you really see ?
The poison flows slowly all within of me.

It's no rain but the blood filled tears,
That stained my concrete face for years.
Concealed with memories of shredding strife,
I've lived year to year, life after life.

Now I await for my death angel's kiss.
A little desiring love for one final bliss.
Empty soul within, there's nothing left of me.
Need to see the end to finally set me free.

I lay with poison in my vein, they run.
The door is closed now, I don't see the sun.
Upon that old grave that swallows fast,
Now it's peace at last. Oh! It's peace at last !!

NOT APART

(I've been missing my "KAPAA" group from my school days a lot lately....wrote it on 9th March, 2010)

Sometimes in my life I often wonder
Why do I live in my lost memories more ?
Why do I always walk on the steps
That leads to the front of my past's door ?

I tried so hard to live in the present
But have lost myself in the world of hate.
A little smile yet a loner deep inside
Admitting myself to the writings of my fate.

But remembering the days of the past
When life was all of sunshine and rain.
I feel like I am newly born yet again
A little hope in the world of my pain.

Going back again to the realms of past
When to live a life was not only a name.
Tears of little joy roll down my cheek
Perhaps all of life was not playing a game.

Though still today I live in my memories
Where past still relives deep in my heart.
They say that past never let you move forward
But my past and present they are not apart.

ONCE BURNED, TWICE SHY

(This is for those people...who at some point of their life...considered me important to them....this is my longest and the only poem where I had my emotional outbursts while writing it....hope not to write these kinds ever again....wrote it on 4th March, 2010)

Remember, remember, there was a time
When he used to feel like a lonely boy.
No one to call him up or to take care
Living all alone with deprieved of joy.

It was then he saw me all by himself
He never felt alone again in his life.
For he called me his best friend ever
Someone to save him from all his strife.

Then in the midst came she in his life
And he slowly forgot all that was me.
He made me cry, start telling me lies
For I was someone he never wished to see.

Remember, remember, there was a time
When she could never trust anyone known.
Her thoughts were mocked and made fun of
Living among people yet she was alone.

It was then she found me from her lot
And again she regained the trust she lost.
For she called me her best friend ever
Ready to give anything this friendship cost.

But then came that fateful night of truth
When she was asked by her lot to choose.
If friendship was more or marks were more
Abandoned me for marks were precious to loose.

Remember, remember, there was a time
When she felt betrayed by her only love.
Her mind could never ever stay focused
With voices wispered of hate from above.

It was then she learnt about my existance
And she found someone to share her pain.
For she called me her best friend ever
Something in her life that's worth the gain.

And then came the cloud of doubts in her mind
She then wanted to get rid of what was me.
Running away and hiding in the darkness
Whenever there were glimpses of me to see.

Remember, remember, now gone are those days
When friendship in my life was only a bliss.
I was remembered over and over again by them
My name was called if something was amiss.

Today it's me who stands all alone by myself
It's me who lost all the trust I had long.
It's only me who is betrayed of love and life
But yet I pretend that nothing is wrong.

For if I try to reach out my hands forward
They would never bother for an ally reply.
For I'm not needed anymore in their life
That's why I feel now, "Once burned, twice shy !!"

TO YOU

(I guess my shortest poem till date....wrote it on 4th March, 2010)

Deep inside of me something amiss
In midst of my soul someone is missed.
The whole world of sadness engulfs
Out of the blue there's a sudden vacuum.

The race towards you is over now
A whole new era comes to an end.
But in my world time stands still
Inside of me your memories linger.

Some touches, some moments I recall
Some talk, some pretty smile stays on.
I sacrifice now and give it all up
But my spirit, my love, still stands tall.

To you, who made all the difference
To you, Who made me live once again.
To you, who gave me something to cheer
To you, for my life I bow to thee.

WITH OR WITHOUT YOU

(Just some random thoughts....which doesn't mean much....wrote it on 3rd March, 2010)

Once touched by all that love is
I took one step closer to you.
Now saddened by all that love is
I try to run far away from you.

Once surprised by what love is
Tried to remain alert in stillness.
Now I'm hurt by what love is
I yearn for a little of tenderness.

With being defeated by what love is
At the truthful moment of your sight.
Being forsaken by all that love is
Today I no longer wish for my right.

I see the stone set in your eyes
Sleight of hand and twist of fate.
I see the thorn twist in your side
On a bed of nails you made me wait.

Through the storm I reach the shore
With nothing to win yet I wait for you.
My hands are tied and my body is bruised
Yet ‎I live my life, with or without you.

THE CONFESSION

(I tried to hide it forever...but unknowingly I confessed it yesterday...perhaps truth cannot be kept in the dark for long...wrote it on 26th February, 2010)

There was once a truth never to be known
A truth inside, hidden beneath my soul.
A truth that I intended to hide forever
Keeping it from reality was my only goal.

Survived in my mission for over years
Never let it all out, kept it all along me.
Even against turbulent and hostile reality
I pretended with only blinded eyes to see.

But when success seemed to be so near
When against all temptation I broke apart.
A confession I made unknowingly in front of you
That I ever intended to hide from the start.

Perhaps I was done by the question asked
A question in disguise like a deadly cancer.
Never knowing of what I tried to say aloud
I was buried in the silence of my own answer.

Drawing regret from the truth of a thousand lies
Lies that I forged only to run away from you.
Only to realize that this may be the only truth
That will someday draw me one step closer to you.

STILL ALIVE

(To "Izzy" yet again....hope by some divine miracle you'd read this someday....if you really exist somewhere....wrote it on 23rd February, 2010)

Long gone are those unforgettable days
When life without you was unbearable.
Long gone are those fulsome shiny days
When life was a bit more than just living.

Perhaps you won't be able to see me again
Because I lie dead in the ashes of time.
But through the cute smile on your lips
I'm still living in you, I'm there still alive !!

Do you remember those days of the past
When we called each other every night ?
Do you remember all those silly fights
Those little exaltation and conceit aftermath ?

Perhaps you won't ever remember me again
Because my face is lost in the midst of all.
But through the tears hidden beneath your eyes
I'm still living in you, I'm there still alive !!

All the promises that we always used to make
Never to forget, never to let go of us.
Yet the promises made, they don't exist anymore
They were lost somewhere and were never found.

Perhaps you won't hear from me ever again
Because my voice won't reach to your soul.
But through the little dreams in your heart
I'm still living in you, I'm there still alive !!

GROWING UP

(I'm still looking for the answers....even though I know the results....wrote it on 18th January, 2010)

It's perfectly alright if you tell me
What in the world went wrong about me ?
Neither I'd shout at you nor I'd argue
I'd not even try to hold it against you.

I know well now that you are leaving
It's true even if it's not worth believing.
You must have your own decisive reason
Perhaps it may be friends shutting season.

I look in all my steps that I retrace
Try to solve that ignoring look on your face.
Maybe perhaps I'd rather try you calling
Sort out why in your eyes I'm only falling ?

I know about this timing and structure
About the results I'm going to see soon after.
It was someone else before and now it's you
Another same movie with same sneak preview.

Because it's already happened this extend
When I tried to turn to make a best friend.
Someone who'd try to feel and understand
Against big hurdles we'd together withstand.

But alas even then something went wrong
And I kept on waiting there for too long.
Now I see this cruising towards another pileup
But perhaps maybe this is my way of growing up.

THE JOURNEY

(A lonesome journey that I'm making....leaving behind everything that I had....I hope everything will be ok now....when I'd be really gone !!....wrote it on 17th January, 2010)

I'm making a lonesome journey to nowhere
No address to visit, no contacts to call.
A rover or just a wanderer, yet not lost
For how can I be lost, when I've nowhere to go ?

With oodle of desires, they crawl in my skin
With glimmer of hopes, they fill my heart.
I've got my rusty old wheels in motion
Now I've got a long distant road to beat.

In this lonesome journey of life and death
I'd remember those lost and found memories.
Some familiar faces to be remembered forever
Yet some painfull memories unable to erase off.

Still in the midst of my every thoughts
There'd exist a familiar pretty face of yours.
With the echos of your laugher and cries
They'd remain deep inside my soul till my end.

Call it a running away, or just only a quit
But it's the best repair, that time demands today.
Perhaps at some point in my life, we'd meet someday
When it'd really be alright, when it's gonna be ok.

For now I've found myself a road to nowhere
And I'm not trying to escape it any longer.
I'm making a lonesome journey, with wishes to all
Take care and keep smiling, until we meet again.

TEMPTATION

(I'm lost in your temptation....and I'm loosing control....wrote it on 12th January, 2010)

What black magic you've put upon me ?
I can't say no, my resistance resign.
My inner conscience urge me to stop now
But I just don't have the strength to decline.

I can't eascape your hands of temptation
Choking around my neck, disguised as love.
My silent screams are lost in your eyes
No one to take heed, says the voice from above.

I've now reached to a point of no return
Can't just get your voice out of my brain.
Taking vows of forgetting you, I wonder
When I'd next see your pretty face again.

The fragnance of you sweet temptation
Throughout the veins of my body it flow.
No sweet perfume ever tortured me like this
With my breath is faint and my voice is low.

With all my might I always try to ignore
Running and hiding myself from your limelight.
But I loose myself by the magic of your words
An enchanted temptation like the silent night.

I try to block out all thoughts of you
Before I start to loose all of my head.
But your temptation is a slythering snake
Cling all around me, crushing me till I'm dead.

METALHEADS

(For the "Metalhead" people like me....wrote it on 11th January, 2009)

My guitar screams to the notes that I hit
Be it the lines of Slayer or just Green day.
Putting up some serious heat up on the stage
We are here totally rocking the summer of May.

It's our own rock band which we named Katalyst
Formed when music became the key to our words.
We play music what the people call Heavy Metal
And our work is not for the cowards or the nerds.

Music and style, yeah that's our total passion
Even tried some tattoos to look way fucking cool.
The power and speed of our music is just too much
The other bands, they just stand and watch like fool.

The sound of the chords and bass rocks the show
Fans bang their heads when the snare sounds steel.
After yet another rocking performance on a high
We leave the stage with the heads-held-high feel.

We were grown seeing the likes of Kirk and James
We are the inspiring metalheads in the midst of you.
As long as music lives, our devils horn would rise
Cause real metalheads like us are only rare and few.

THE FACE INSIDE

(I hope someday....someone would see the real face inside this mask....wrote it on 9th January, 2010)

Well look at me, what do you see ?
A pretty face that always grins and lies.
But there's a face within this face
That is always hidden from your eyes.

Pretending is the art that I perform
But please don't get fooled by this game.
For this is just a face to hide myself
A mask that I wear with just a name.

Conspiracies and betryal they did with me
Even they called me a mysterious creep.
Still this face smile and laugh with them
But their words make the face inside to weep.

My face may always seem smooth to you
But this face is just only a mask.
A mask to hide fear, pain and aloneness
A mask to shield me from glances that only ask.

You may wonder why this hidden face inside ?
It's because they don't care my tears and sighs.
So I wear this face to hide the face inside
Which is torn from silent screams and tearless cries.

JUST A FOOL

(For that foolish person inside me....wrote it on the new year day of 2010)

You said that I was a fool to fall in love,
For my dreams which were simply naive.
You said that I was only too stupid enough,
To listen to my heart and believe.

I always wanted to make you understand,
That this fool is a fool for a reason.
But you always remained in the deathly dark,
Delivering only shadows in this season.

You said that I was a fool to hurt myself,
Out of the pain of suffocation and no breathing.
You said that I was a fool to slash my arm open,
Because you won't even care, if I die bleeding.

Cold and dead were the lonely nights,
With my dreams they are jolted awake.
In the midst of dark and flowing times,
Of night’s grandeur, my breath they only shake.

You said that I was a fool to believe in life,
Where no hope would ever present itself.
You said that I was just a fool and nothing more,
To be abused and to be put upon a dusty shelf.

I’ve been cold and I’ve been distant to all,
Perhaps being hated beyond life’s cruelest measure.
Still I’ve foundered love and stood firm upon it,
To seek nothing more than your heart’s treasure.

Still you said that I was a fool to fall in love,
For you are too blinded by games, hate and greed.
But I hope one day, a true fool I can find,
Because this lonely heart is one fool in need.

GOKU - SOME LEGENDS NEVER DIE

(Since kid I used to be a big fan of Goku....the protagonist of the anime "Dragon Ball" series....and always imagined myself to have immense power like him....but today I realize....that it's not his power that made him a legend....but his wisdom and beliefs that made him so....so this one's for him....wrote it on 24th December, 2009)

I remember all those past days
When I was just a little kid.
I used to see you every weekend
Like I always did without any skid.

I used to see you kicking butts
Of all that is evil and bad.
With your immense power with no match
The villains had only misery to add.

I always wished to be like you
The most powerful man of the universe.
Nobody else to defeat me ever
While I make my foe's lives worse.

Imagined myself to be a "super saiyan"
Even practiced the "Fusion dance".
Reaced everywhere with "Instant transmission"
Whenever I got a little chance.

Now years have passed since then
Now I'm no longer any kid.
But you still remain a hero to me
Like you have always did.

For you will be always be remembered
Maybe not by the powers you own.
But by the wisdom you shared
With all those people whom you've known.

You are the defination of limitless
An answer for those who cry out for peace.
A symbol that can be used to define hope
And a force which makes all evil to cease.

Perhaps one day I'd also be like you
A great person, if I confidently try.
Then I'd also be remembered forever
Because legends like you never ever die.

UNKNOWINGLY

(Something I wrote unknowingly....in an unknown date !!)

Once there used to live a boy long time ago

Who used to say that love is only a name

To be found in pages of myths and fairy tales.

A name to be remembered as an extinct animal

Like the mammoth Dinosaurs or the little Dodo.

Then came a girl into the scene of his life

And unknowingly they became the best of buddies

Always being together, sharing each others world.

In the midst of silly jokes and small fights,

Unknowingly he fell in love with her as time went by.

But stupid was the boy who never realized it

For he thought that love can never exist in reality.

With eyes blinded by his ignorance and over confidence

Ignored all the goose bumps, chills and butterflies,

That unknowingly he used to get always seeing her face.

Then came one day when he realized the fact

That unknowingly he had made her his destiny for life.

Enlightened, he was ready to speak his heart out

But it was too late back then for she was already gone,

To someone else's heart, where she always wanted to be.

Shattered goals filled his soul with a ruthless cry

For he couldn't let it all out, so kept it all to himself.

Unknowingly, Drugs and alcohol became his sole best freinds.

With his silent screams went loud in the place of his death,

Ripped open his heart, he died with his final breath.

Shedding tears she blamed his lifestyle for his demise

Unknowingly never realizing that she was his only lifeline.

As time went by, she erased her past and lived happily,

Never knowing that once there lived a boy who only thought,

Love is a myth but unknowingly loved her all along his life.

TO IZZY

(Someone once said, that I have an imaginary friend named "Izzy", whom I never even heard of....But today standing at this point of life, perhaps she's the only friend, that I have now....I don't even know who she is...but this is for her....wrote it on 12th December, 2009)

Oh Izzy! Can you hear ?
In the midst of a dead night,
Laying awake on the cold bed,
In my prison like empty room,
I still talk with you.

Izzy can't you see ?
My life has lost it's track,
But still I wear a mask,
Try to pretend to be something,
What I'm not anymore.

Izzy could you say ?
Why now I live in a world,
Which is getting fade to black ?
Why I'm running away,
From people, life and myself ?

Izzy don't you agree ?
That a death angel's kiss,
Would have been more beautiful ?
Bringing me my final bliss,
Leaving this emply shell forevermore.

Izzy could you find me,
All those glorious days,
That I left behind long ago ?
All those memorable memories,
That I seek today for my salvation.

Izzy, Will you be there ?
To hold these lonely hands,
When I walk this emply street.
On the boulevard of broken dreams.
Where the city sleeps and I walk all alone.

IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

(The name of this poem says it all....and this poem doesn't rhyme....but it's the feeling that matters....wrote it on 2nd December, 2009)

Beautiful is the essence,
That is genuinely perceived
In the depth of your eyes, soul
And when I always see you smile

Natural is the feeling,
That I feel deep in my heart
When we are always together
For that is when, I can be myself.

Believe is the confidence,
That I have in the realms of my soul
To be intimate and unbounded
For my love for you to prevail forever.

Trust is the faith,
That I can never question about
When I always have you by my side
With our hearts are shared lifelong.

Incredible is the sensation,
That I feel with your each touch
Which brings the passionate impression
In the midst of my heart and soul.

Love is the strength,
That make my dreams to run forward
To reach to my eternal destiny
Of being loved and valued by you.

DEPARTED

(When two souls are departed and love becomes just only a name....but still life moves on....with the hope for a better future....wrote it on 2nd December, 2009)

This is when the two souls part,
In the midst of silence and tears.
A verve of only broken-heart,
To live for the incoming years.

A destiny which is dead and cold,
A world of only empty bliss.
True was the hour that foretold,
For a life of sorrow to this.

The tears of the early morning,
Still sunk chill in thy eyes.
The prices being paid for a warning
By the likes of only bitter lies.

When the vows are all broken,
And love becomes just a name.
I hear that name being spoken,
To share its fate for the shame.

But thy life's a book written through,
Where the pages are the years.
There's good, evil, false and true,
With laughter, sweat and tears.

THE BEAST INSIDE

(The beast inside awakens to seek vengeance....when memories of the past consume, like opening the wound !!....wrote it on 16th November, 2009)

In the midst of the darkness
Far away from the realms of light.
A world full of nightmares and hell
Has finally awaken in my sight.

The pain and anger gripping me
Are now finally released.
From the ashes of dead memories
Rises the long sleeping beast.

Kicking and screaming with rage
It seeks for blood and fight.
With the purpose of only vengeance
The beast within stalks the night.

Driven by the crave to repay
For things happened against my will.
The beast would never forgive
But would only live to kill.

Long lives the night of terror
Conjured of only death and cold.
From the ruins of haunted past
A new future would now unfold.

Is it the rage in my heart
Or is it the voices in my head ?
Is it the nightmare in my sleep
Or just an incarnation of the dead ?

But now I live with fear no more
Far away from pain and anger to control.
For there is a beast within my body
Hidden inside the midst of my soul.

LIFE WITH YOU

(Some true words from the midst of my heart....wrote it on 15th November, 2009)

Life with you is a beautiful dance
Of only loving and sweet romance.
Life with you is a never ending sweet dream
Of honeysuckle and cool running streams.

Life with you is a thrilling roller coaster ride
Knowing that you will always be by my side.
Life with you is my sole eternity
You and I on an endless cloud of serenity.

Life with you is never alone when you are near
My world is sunshine and roses because you are here.
Life with you never feels sad and blue
Because I found your love so beautiful and true.

Life with you is a walk without a care
Because I know that your love will always be there.
Life with you is a life with no fear
Because your love is the strength my dear.

Life with you is a life I want to live
With only love I have for you to give.
Life with you is my only dream and my only last wish
To grow old with you until my soul banish.

A PAST TO REMEMBER

(We try to forget some past to live in the present...but some present never lets you to forget the past....wrote it on 10th November, 2009)

As I sit here in this lonely place
Far from the midst where I used to be
Wondering over and over again
Why did this happen to me ?

Remembering the good old days
Of times that has departed by
I promised, I wouldn’t do this
I said I would never ever cry

I was strong, when made my promise
Nothing could ever get in my way
Now look, I'm lost and forlorn
How did I get myself this way ?

Seems like just only yesterday
The friendship that looked so bright
Now can't really see anything
It's all darkness without any light

Mysterious and creepy person I am
This is what people now say
And I don't want my old pals to see me
Living and looking this way

It's being more than a year now
The time has moved too fast
Things are completely different now
Once friends, now totally an outcast

I wish, but still can't go back
To that place of sheer fun and reckless
Have to live with others hatred
Drown in the sea of pity and sadness

For I know, until I put my best foot forward
And be all that I can ever be
The past can look down with pride
With what has happened to me

DEAD YET ?

(For the hatred towards my own soul....wrote it on 7th November, 2009)

Never wanted to hear, never tried to deem
Drown into depth of darkness, before I dive
Never ever cared before, only to commit
To the path of my own self destruction drive

I kiss the face, in the memory remains
With love for you, always beyond forever
Flip off the sky, into the midst of nowhere
I'll bleed in my soul, till my last breath ever

Wake up now, don't cry at my demise
Never repent, from the truth of a thousand lies
Regenerate to deny, the reality of your fiction
That left a blindfold, on your wet eyes

Another tainted flesh, another polluted soul
Eradicated of what I would always be
Before the end, take one good look at myself
Could it be my nemesis, that you are me ?

Throw a punch, through a mirror I behold
The shards of life, bleed on the floor
Tearing me apart, should I regret or ask myself
Am I dead yet or still I have to die once more ?

SHORT N NERD

(Well trying to be sarcastic about myself....wrote it on 24th October, 2009)

You see me always, sitting and bitting my nail
Like I always do each day in a month, without any fail.
I know you're thinking, that I'm just too short n nerd
A confusing puzzle, which you can't solve in a crossword.


But I am the best in my class, here at M.I.T.S.
Now you don't again make that, stupid questioning face.
Let me tell you it's, "Master In Talking Shit !!"
And I'll drive you mad, if you don't say "I want to quit !!"


I've got skills, I'm a champion in driving off flea
Keep your beer, coz I love my favorite "Earl Grey" tea.
I spend my time reading manga, which are funny and scary
So I stole all Naruto comics, from the town's central library.


You can never ever beat me, in a game of race.
I can write the value of "pie", out to a thousand place.
Once you see me type, you're always gonna stay amaze
My fingers move so fast, that I'll set the keyboard ablaze.


I'm always pinged by hundreds, when i try to chat
I even designed a full website, for my own pet cat.
I can memorize anything, like some writable media
When I'm bored doing nothing, i edit the "Wikipedia"


"Piano Man" yeah, that is my favorite theme song
I can kick your butt, in a game of ping pong.
I hack my friends account, just to have some fun
There is no killer application script, that I haven't run.


I spend my every vacation, attending only fun fair
I even got my name, written on my black underwear !!
Now do you still think, that I'm too short n nerd ?
A confusing puzzle, that you can't never solve in a crossword !!

DARKNESS WITHIN

(Exploring the darker side within..)


The night of timeless fire is drawing near
I flee... Throughout the years of throe
Watching through a mirror, as I fall apart
I see a wreck, I'm burning

I see angels burning, falling down in ruins
Looking down I see me, I'm my own enemy

Watching myself decaying, falling from high spirits
I flee... Throughout the ruins of me
Longing for finding my way out
Leaving myself, there's nothing left for me
The ruins are about to crumble down.

The flame is dying by shivery winds of jet black skies
It reflects hatred in my eyes
I see angels burning, falling down in ruins
Looking down I see my ashes scattered around my grave

Angels whispering fire, no longer I'm alive
Settled down I'm done with the trip to my kingdom come

UNBROKEN SPIRITS

(This is for me...to disappoint all those people....who think I'm weak..)

Hold it now, wait a minute.
Come on, just let me catch my breath.
I've heard the promises, I've seen the mistakes.
I've had my fair share of tough breaks.

I need a new voice, new law, new way.
Take the time, re-evaluate.
It's time to pick up the pieces, go back to square one.
I think it's time for a change.

I can feel the waves coming on.
Now my life is no more assuring than love.
So I won't let them destroy me or carry me on.
Even if there's no answers from voices above.

Unbroken spirits, obscured and disquiet.
Find clearness, this trial demands.
And at the end of this day, sighs an anxious relief.
For the fortune lies still in my hands.

If there's a pensive fear, a wasted year.
I will still learn to cope.
If my obsession's real.
Suppression that I feel, will turn to hope.

NEEDLED 24*7

(This is my favourite poem till now..)

Since day one I've been crass and far beyond
I couldn't laugh, I couldn't cry.
Always pretending to be a happy soul
But the truth is merely a condescending lie.

Like the faint blaze of the dimming candle
I can always see my life slowly dying.
With these broken wings, I'm falling down
Death creeping into me, I'm no more flying.

Out of strength to live, can't take it anymore
The blood of life drips off my arms, I see red.
Watching through the shards of mirror, I see myself
Another wrecked soul, living or just an undead ?

Hold me now, hold me tight, don't let go
You're my only hope, the only shooting star in my sky.
Please hold my hands, just take me in your arms
Help me to fight, coz it gets painful everytime I die.

I'm still waiting for you, when my world is burning
For one last time, let me feel the heaven.
Give me the shoulder to cry upon, make me alive again
Don't just walk away now, when I'm being needled 24*7.

FRIENDS FOREVER

(To all my beloved friends...may you stay with me forever..)

Oh my friends, I'm so blessed to have you.
You're my fortune, I love you all.
Living with you, is like gaining eternity.
Life without you all, is a life I'd never recall.

Some are cool, some are studious.
Some are hot, some are funny.
But like the seven colours of a rainbow, always are together.
I don't care how you are, you're always sweet as honey.

Sometimes we joke, sometimes we cry.
Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we fight.
But no matter what we do, without each other we can't survive.
That's why even after darker times, things become alright.

If I am asked, what I want for a wish ?
I'd want you all, in my upcoming birth.
I want no fortune, I want no fame.
I only desire you all, the best friends of earth.

I don't know, what lies in the future.
Wheather we'd stand, wheather we'd fall.
But one thing's for sure, we'd always be together.
Because you all are the best, and I'll always love you all.

SOMEDAY

(A ray of hope...for a better future....for somebody..)

How the hell did you wind up like this ?
As if there is a past that you miss.
How come you can't forget the past ?
Which has made you like a nuclear holocaust.

I wish you unclench your fist.
Don't let this pain to persist.
Please stop this flow of tears.
Try to forget this pain of years.

I know you want to undo the time.
Even if it costs you all your dime.
You hate the present and blame your fate.
But don't think that everything's too late.

Maybe your life is not like a  fairy story.
Which has no pain but only victory and glory.
But let's re-write your present tale.
So that your future life will always prevail.

But i know someday you will be fine, if not right now.
Someday you will find your way, maybe somehow.
Someday you will love again, you will again smile.
And I'd feel that this poem of mine is finally worthwhile.

VALENTINE'S DAY

(Silent cry from the midst of a silent heart...on a special day...wrote it on 10th August, 2009)

There you were..
Standing right in front of me.
Looking like a lovely angel,
The most dazzling girl, as i always see.

It is the 14th of Feb..
People call it valentine's day.
But to me it's a moment when,
what i feel for you, i can finally say.

It has been so long..
From the day i started loving you.
I forgot about everything,
I don't remember, how the time flew.

I bought a red rose..
Still wet from morning dew.
I would speak my heart out,
Start a new life, holding hands with you.

I took a step finally..
Inching closer and closer to you.
But then came out of nowhere,
A familiar face ,someone I always knew.

He kneeled down to you..
Said how much his love is aflame.
Stunned,contented and beaming you said,
That deep inside, you also felt the same.

The clouds above me moved closer..
And the ground below grew cold.
The heartless wind kept on blowing,
Telling me that, my wretched soul was sold.

My inside all turend to ash..
A black wind took them away from sight.
And blew far away as I collapsed.
It's darkness all around, like a dark night.

The thorns of the rose..
Bleeding my hand red like it's own.
On the edge of a Valentine's day.
Broken, beaten and scarred, I stand alone !!

SAY OK

(Some words for a friend....to make things go ok again..)

I saw you there, today
standing tall, all alone.
Like I see you everyday.

Nicely dressed, yet so quiet,
Lost in yourself, I don't know
If you are okay or something not right

Tell me if you are fine.
Or life is being foul to you.
Tell me, if you are a friend of mine

If I ask, you say you're cool
Nothings wrong, but I know,
You're lying, don't try to make me a fool.

I know you are hurt, I know you cry
You always hide your tears. I know you
Well enough, no matter how hard you try.

I know you, always hide,
The terrible pain of your broken heart
Your hidden tears flow, like an ocean tide.

But know this, you'll be relieved of pain
Life is not that bad, because know that
Nothing lasts forever, neither the cold November rain...

HOW I WISH

(For someone who is still looking for somebody....wrote it on 10th April, 2009)

How I wish if you were single..
Nobody to hold your hand..
We could have been together..
We could have mingle..

How I wish if you had loved me..
Like you love someone special..
My world would have opened..
By the magic of your loving key..

How I wish you always kissed..
My cheek, my neck, my lips..
Make me feel like heaven..
Always being loved, never being missed..

How I wish you always smile..
whenever, wherever you see me..
My life would become beautiful..
Like the gorgeous river Nile..

How I wish you were there..
When I felt alone, when I am lonely..
All my fears would have gone..
With the touch of your little care..

How I wish you knew what i feel..
How much i love you, i need you..
How my life without you is just like..
A rusty old car, without any wheel..

I know that now you are not mine..
But I know that someday, you will..
Realise the value of my love..
That will be the day my stars would shine..

You will realize who loves you more..
Me or your someone special..
You will start to feel love..
Like you have never felt before..

And I will wait for that day..
Which I know will come oneday..
I am ready to do anything for it..
Even if it is my life, that i will have to pay..

ANGER

(I really suffer from quick temper loss...so this is about myself)

Is it my fear ?
or deep inside..
this is what i desire to hear.

Is it a part of my life ?
or just a vengeance..
ready to stab like a knife.

Is it a chain in my mind ?
that cripple and bind..
and make me deaf and blind.

why is that..
when i try to be mild..
it goes off like a bomb..
drives me crazy, makes me wild.

what is it..
that runs through my vein..
ready to burst out..
leaving only pain.

Why it makes me feel..
that i am hollow and alone..
my mind like a brick..
and my heart like a stone.

Why it makes life..
like an ultimate sin..
whatever i try to do..
it just won't allow me to win.

Is it a weapon ?
to fight and unleash doom.
or just nothing but merely..
the architecture of my own tomb.